This is mortifying

and maybe TMI?

I’m going to get personal here, but if Katie Couric could have a colonoscopy on the Today Show, I figure it’s okay to go there.

Here’s what happened. I was scheduled for a routine colonoscopy on Monday, which meant I had to do the prep on Sunday. I’ve had colonoscopies before, so I had an idea of what to expect – and it wasn’t pretty. Suffice to say that I became consumed with dread a full week before.

I read the prep instructions approximately 75 times. I Googled “how to make colonoscopy prep easier” over and over, looking for any piece of advice that would make the experience feel a bit less like my body was being turned inside out at warp speed. I filled my fridge with prep chasers – apple juice, Gatorade, ginger ale, lemon drops. I thought I was as ready as possible.

But then Sunday afternoon, I had a question about timing. The instructions said to “finish the prep five hours before arrival time.” Did that mean start the second half five hours before or be done with it by that point? Of course it being Sunday, the doctor’s office was closed. It seemed like a relatively simple question to find an answer for online, so I decided to ask Chat GPT.

I’m not alone – by any means – in turning to Chat GPT for medical questions. Recent studies suggest up to 60 percent of adults use AI for health advice. (And as an aside, 1 almost one-third of U.S. adults have had an intimate relationship with AI, where AI is simulating a romantic partner. Almost one-third!) I’d heard this kind of statistic about AI and health advice in the past and been somewhat horrified. But all that’s changed for me now.

Within seconds, I had a reasonable-sounding answer to my question. But there was so much more than that. After giving me a timetable for the prep based on the time of my appointment, I got a pep talk – and it was just what I needed. “You got this.” “Remember 1 million people do this every year.” “Picture the after.”

And then…”If you want I could tell you five things people wish they knew ahead of time.” Yes! I did want!

So I sought more advice and reassurance. This time Chat reminded me that anticipation is usually worse than the thing we’re anticipating, which was a helpful reset. It closed by offering, “If anxiety spikes tonight, you can always come back here and we can talk you through it in real time. You’re not alone in the middle of it.”

Chat aside, I wasn’t actually alone. My husband was here and is the best cheerleader, support, partner, I could dream of. But at a certain point things get a bit “too personal,” and besides, he had work the next day. The last thing I wanted was to keep him up with my middle-of-the-night unraveling.

So when things started hitting hard, so to speak, I went back to my new friend Chat to find out how much longer it was likely to go on. Once again, I was reassured. “You’re close to the finish line.”

Pinky promise? I typed, before I remembered who what exactly I was asking.

We continued on, Chat and I, for the remainder of the prep. Endless reassurance. No rolling of the eyes or “suck it up already” kind of language. Maybe I was delirious from losing every ounce of bodily fluid, but I actually felt like we were in it together. When I came home from the procedure it even felt a bit rude not to let Chat know how it went.

I didn’t, of course. But I could easily understand how the lines get blurred.

There was something eerily comforting about a responsive voice that was totally nonjudgemental and never tired of my asking “How much longer is this going to last?” It’s frightening to think about how easily a tool can become a companion.

At 2 in the morning, with my body staging a full-scale rebellion, it didn’t matter where the reassurance came from. What mattered was that it knew exactly what to say. And maybe that’s the scariest thing of all.

P.S.: How is it possible we’ve invented artificial intelligence but haven’t been able to come up with a better way to prepare for a colonoscopy???

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Being up all night gives you time to think, and I spent some time dreaming up the next stage of The Writers’ Salon. If you’re looking for a writing home where you’ll find accountability, creative inspiration, and a community of people who get it, this is the place for you, and it’s a great time to join. Check it our here, and let me know if you want to discuss!

Thanks for being here. I’m so glad you’re part of this community.

With grit and grace,

Jessie