Why you?

Why not you?

This is a pep talk. A bit of a departure from my usual fare, but hear me out.

You might be thinking, “I didn’t ask for a pep talk, thank you very much. I’m feeling quite peppy as it is.” If so, more power to you. But more likely, you’re mired in the pain of life or the minutia of life — or both.

Bear with me then, because this isn’t about generic pep. It’s specifically about finding the courage to put yourself out there, even when distractions and doubt and maybe even despair are swirling. The courage to submit the article you wrote, apply for the job that feels slightly out of reach, email the person you want to connect with.

I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit these last few weeks, as I’ve worked with writers who have gotten pieces accepted by The New York Times (3 people just this month in Tiny Love Stories!), HuffPost, and Business Insider.

I also recently reached out to someone who’s, let’s just say a very big deal author, to request an interview for my new book. And to my great surprise, he said, “Yes.” I was aware that the chance he’d agree was infinitesimal. But the chance he’d agree if I didn’t ask was even smaller.

And the writers I worked with? Submitting to those publications may have felt like a long shot, but there was no way they’d be published in those outlets if they didn’t take the shot in the first place. I’m not much of a sports fan, but Wayne Gretzky knew what he was talking about when he said, “you miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.”

Pretty, but probably not functional.

I learned this lesson more than 10 years ago, after hearing Arianna Huffington speak at a conference. At the end of her presentation, she shared her email with the thousands of women who filled the room. I went home that afternoon, and without perseverating, sent her a note along with a recent essay I’d written about my daughter Dalia’s diagnosis with the rare disease MERRF Syndrome. The key is the not perseverating part. I didn’t give myself the chance to talk myself out of it. I didn’t reach out to six friends to get their opinions, or spend time wordsmithing my note. I just hit “send.” Six minutes later, Ms. Huffington wrote back to me. My piece ran on the front page of what was then Huffington Post the very next day.

It doesn’t always work this way, of course. Earlier this week I reached out to the “very big deal” author I’d interviewed and asked if he might introduce me to another celebrity in his space whom he’d mentioned he knows. His response? “Sorry, I can’t do that.” I was momentarily mortified for asking in the first place, but then I told myself that the chance of a yes was worth the fleeting embarrassment.

And besides, what exactly is there to be embarrassed about? Chances are you’ve been on the receiving end of somebody reaching out who thinks you’re a “very big deal” whatever it is you are. And maybe you said yes and maybe you said no. But either way, you probably didn’t give it much thought. You likely weren’t shocked or offended that somebody sought you out. You probably were a bit flattered. So maybe that’s something to keep in mind, too.

Think about it like this: Instead of asking yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” if you do the thing, ask yourself “What’s the best that can happen?” The answer to that question is probably far more interesting.

So do it, whatever your “it” is. Not later this week. Not tomorrow. Today.

And when you do, let me know how it goes.

With grit and grace…and a bit of pep,

Jessie

P.S. If you’re interested in learning about working with me one-on-one for writing coaching, let me know. And if you’d like to learn more about my online writers’ community, visit The Writers’ Salon here.